More on saying goodbye!

Here’s another thought God gave me in my time with Him this morning!

Why is it that we as parents of grown children struggle so with the fiery darts of loneliness and depression when our children and grandchildren (especially those who live a long ways from us) depart after a visit?  I have some thoughts regarding that!

For me, my struggles with these two fiery darts are dramatically diminished as long as I bring the power of Scripture to bear upon them.  Yesterday, God helped me to understand the impact of focusing on His blessings in keeping the temptations of loneliness and depression at bay.  And I am here to tell you, “It works!”

In addition, God gave me another thought this morning that I feel I must share with you.

Part of our problem is that we struggle to accept reality.  The reality is that children grow up and often move away from their parent’s home, town, (and sometimes even country)!  That’s normal, that’s as it should be.  But we think we would be happier if they lived closer and mourn the fact that they don’t!  As long as we think on these little ‘t’ truths, we open the door of our minds to an onslaught of fiery darts.  The results of that?  Read on!

We will become more and more self absorbed!

Our notice of families who live close to each other will be intensified and we will begin to envy them and feel sorry for ourselves.

The distance between ourselves and God will continue to expand.

Our time with God will diminish and become less fruitful.

Mentally and emotionally we will be bummed out, and that will begin to take a toll on us physically!

IT’S A DOWNWARD SPIRAL!

I know that the fiery darts will always nag at my mind!  Such as: I’m getting too old to become adventurous.  How do I know my health won’t play out?  Physically I just can’t manage as much as I use to.  I’m running out of time; it’s just too late to attempt new things.

If I allow myself to think like that then that abundant and prosperous life God has for me in John 10:10b and Jeremiah 29:11 will indeed pass me by.

So perhaps now you understand why it is vital to be deliberate about our thinking!  God has given us some excellent advice in Philippians 4:8 about how we should be directing our thoughts:

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things. (NIV)

And the results of this kind of thinking?

We will begin to realize we have more time to spend with God! (The benefits of that cannot be measured!)

We will become less self absorbed! (Our world won’t be so centered on us!)

Our health will improve b/c we are in a healthier mental and emotional state!

We will begin to enjoy the freedom to pursue things we wouldn’t consider or afford as long as we had the responsibility of caring for our children. (I took a flying lesson recently!)

We begin to respond normally to those difficult goodbye’s.  Sad, of course, b/c we miss them and b/c we enjoy having them around, and we love making those memories with them, but we soon get back on our feet and move on to enjoy the life and benefits of the empty nest God has ordained for us.  Because as God tells us in Jeremiah 29:11,

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. (NIV)

and John 10:10b,

 I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.(NIV)

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2 thoughts on “More on saying goodbye!

  1. I can soooo relate to this! I get to see my daughters and grandchildren once a year usually and twice if I’m really blessed. Leaving them (the ususal case) is always difficult because I know they will be another year older, bigger, more mature before I see them again. While they are little, they don’t even remember me from one visit to the next. Heart breaking to say the least, but I am thankful for modern technology that keeps us in touch and lets them recognize our face so they are not so so afraid when they DO see us. Would I like to live closer and have more day to day time with them? Of course! But, that is not where God has placed me. So, I make myself available and useful where He HAS placed me. That helps to make the time pass more quickly until I can see my daughters and grandchildren again.

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    • It’s necessary to accept reality. Once we’ve done that then we can find our way. Wishing things were different doesn’t make them so. You have become a wise woman Donna! Thank you for your comment. It’s an encouragement for me!

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